Too Much Bacon For My Pants

© Mark Betcher

Too old for the rock n roll show
Chain saw damaged hearing is set to go
The beer goes down and I’m asleep by nine
The band cranks up and whales a few lines
The words fail me but I know they rhyme
It’s the audio level that messes with my mind

Too much bacon for my pants

It’s too loud, my tuning forks ring
What’s that Dude playing when he plays that thing?
The question I have for you goes like this
Is there too much bacon for the pan?
Is there is too much bacon for the band?
Is there too much bacon for my pants?

Too much bacon for my pants

I tell my wife in a rant
Honey, I've got too much bacon in my pants!
I've heard this one before, my lovely man
It's so like, Too much bacon in my can!
Sung by that Dude, that Soul Coughing Man
I can't touch that... too much bacon in her can

Too much bacon in her can

In the morning I take coffee with cream
I hum a tune, too much pork in my beans
I mix orange juice from a can
Too much bacon, green eggs and ham
It's too much bacon in my pan
Too much breakfast food for an old man

Too much bacon for my pants

I think day and night and my ears still ring
I love Larwence Welk, forget this thing
The question I have for you goes like this
Is there too much bacon for the pan?
Is there is too much bacon for the band?
Is there too much bacon for my pants?

Too much bacon for my pants!

At this age I start to care less...
That I've got too much bacon for my pants
Pass it on to my... my generation
That bacon in a pan
Too much meat for a vegetarian