Million Year Old Birthday Blues
© Mark Betcher
The Million Year Old Birthday Blues
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
I singing you these Happy Birthday Blues
Now you just turned 50. What are you going to do?
Your about a million years old now and that’s bad news for you
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday. Oh what a horrible mess
Your mind still thinks your young. But your body wants eternal rest
Now don’t you worry. Your best years are still to come
I’d say that to your face but I know you ain’t that dumb
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Stretchy pants. Potted plant. Your hair turned gray. It’s seniors day.
You creak and groan. Ready for the home. Rocking chair. You just sit and stare
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday! Forget those lines in your face
Forget your sagging bottom. Let that rump roast age with grace
Just be thankful that your teeth are still intact
And you can still move mail through your intestinal tract
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday! Why are you turning blue?
Well, you’ve just turned 50. There’s no one you can sue
Did you ever see the painting of Dorian Gray
Go out and buying a painting like that today
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Stretchy pants. Potted plant. Your hair turned gray. It’s seniors day.
You creak and groan. Ready for the home. Rocking chair. You just sit and stare
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
You make a good grand ma. Make a good grand pap
You might look younger if you could just take a beauty nap
It’s OK now. You can join A A R P
Get them golden age discounts now don’t you see
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday. Let us change this tune!
Let’s sing a happy song. Gonna shoot for the moon
Today you’ve turned 50! Made a big deal over you!
It’s time to WISH away those million year old birthday blues
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Stretchy pants. Potted plant. Your hair turned gray. It’s seniors day.
You creak and groan. Ready for the home. Rocking chair. You just sit and stare
Happy Birthday. Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday. Let us change this tune!
Let’s sing a happy song. Gonna shoot for the moon
Today you’ve turned 50! Made a big deal over you!
It’s time to WISH away those million year old birthday blues
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