Bad Valentine

© Mark Betcher

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
Marrying you has screwed up my life
When I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I wake up screaming.

She’s kind, intelligent and smokin’ hot
This describes everything you are not
Love may be beautiful and love may be blind
What the hell was I thinking, What was on my mind

There was a time I could love no other
That’s when I met your brother.
Roses are red, violets are blue
Sugar is sweet, and so are you
But the roses are wilting and the violets are dead
The sugar bowl's empty and so is your head

I want to feel your sweet embrace
Don't take that paper bag off your face
I love your tits, your ass and your eyes
But NOT YOUR big fat cottage cheese thighs

My love, you take my breath away
And the dog catcher mistook you for a stray
What inspired this valentine rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Happy Valentines Day?
Happy Valentines Day?
Happy Valentines Day?